Aasim Karimi

1) Suna hai khuda ke darbar se

kuch farishtey farar ho gaye.

kuch to vapas chale gaye

aur kuch humare yaar ho gaye..!

2) Zindagi kaha kisi ko ras ati hai,vo to pal do pal ki hi saathi hai,marna to sirf ek bahana hai,aap sabse pecha jo chudana hai…..

3) Kal fursat na mili to kya karoge,
itni mohlat na mili to kya karoge,
roz keh dete ho
kal sunege kal Sunege,
kal agar meri hi ankhe na khuli to kya karoge.

4) TUT GAYA DIL PAR ARMAN WOHI HAI, DUR REHTE HAI FIR BHI PYAR WOHI HAI, JANTE HAI KI MIL NAHI SAKTE, MAGAR IN ANKHON MAIN INTEZAR WOHI HAI.

5) Pyar toh kabhi-kabhi aankho tak rehta hai,magar dosti dil ke karib hoti hai,pyar toh chand khushiya dekar thak jata hai,magar dosti gum mein sharik hoti hai.

6) Yahi To Khubsurat Pyar Ka Nata Hai,
Jo Bina Kisi Shart Ke Jiya Jata Hai,
Rahe Duriyan Darmiya To Kya Hua,
Pyar To Harpal Dil Me Basaya Jata Hai…

7) Mulakat maut ki mehman ho gayi, Nazar ki duniya veeran ho gayi, meri saase bhi meri nahi, ye zindgi aapki dosti par kurbaan ho gayi…

Aap ki yaad dil bekarar karti hai nazar talash aap sabko bar bar karti hai,Gila nahi jo door hain aapse, aap sabki toh judai bhi humsey pyaar karti hai:-)

9) Kahi andhera kahi sham hogi meri har khusi tere nam hogi ek baar kuch mang ke to dekh hoto pe hasi aur ye zindagi tere nam hogi.

10) Bina khwabo k bhi koi so paya hai. Bina yaadon k bhi koi kho paya hai. Dosti aapki dhadkan hai is dil ki…
Dil bhi kabhi dhadkan se juda ho paya hai..

11)
F-Fun
R-Rational
I-Impartial
E-Emotional
N-Never Ending
D-Dependable
S-Special
H-Heart
I-lnteresting
P-Priceless

Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna,
Jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna.
Agar wo ghusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat ,
Raakhi nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna…

School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya,
Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya.
Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya,
Sari Class Fail, Aur….. Papu Pass Ho Gaya….

Aapke dil me basjayenge SMS ki tarah.,.,
Dil me bajenge RING TONE ki tarah.,.,
Dosti kum nahi hongi BALANCE ki tarah.,.,
Sirf aap busy na rehana NETWORK ki tarah…..

UNKI GALI SE MERA JANAZA NIKLA WO NA NIKLE JINKE LIYE JANAZA NIKLA, UNKA GHAR AAYA TO MERE DOST SITI BAJANE LAGE,
RAKHKE MERA JANAZA KAMINE USKO PATANE LAGE….

Tere gam me tadap kar mar jayenge,
Mar gaye to tera naam lejayenge…
Rishwat de ke tujhe bhi bulaenge,
Tum upar aaoge to saath baith ke Kurkure khaenge….

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum,
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum.
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum,
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum…

Arz kiya hai!!!…Itne kamjor hue teri judai se…
Gaur farmaiye…Itne kamjor hue teri judai se…
Ki chinti bhi ab kheech le jaati hai charpai se….

palkon pe apni bitaya hai tumhe,
Badi duao ke baad paaya hai tumhe,
Aasani se nahi mile ho tum
National zuological Park se churaya hai tumhe….!!!

kabhi kehte the dost hamare ke jaan bhi maango to hazir hai ,
Aaj apni bivi ko jaan kehte hai,Aur maango to inkaar karte hain…

Naari ke chakkar mein bhool na jaana yaari,
Jab laat maaregi naari to yaad aayegi hamari…
Purush bachao samiti ki taraf se Janhit mein jaari….

Aaj kuch gahbraye se lagte ho,
Thand mein kampkapaye se lagte ho…
Nikhar kar aayi hai surat aapki,
Lagata hain Bahut dino baad nahaye se lagte ho…

PATTE GIR SAKTE HAIN PED NAHI,
SURAJ DOOB SAKTA HAIN ASMAAN NAHI,
DHARTI SOOKH SAKTHI HAI DARIYA NAHI,
DUNIYA SUDHAR SAKTI HAI PAR AAP NAHI….

Batoun mein jiski rawani nahi hai,
Usay kabhi Jillat uthani nahi hai,
Yeh chehray par jo tu dekhta hai,
Woh powder hai nada(Pure) Jawani nahi hai….

College ki galion mein ajjeb khel hota hai,
Class ke bahane dilo ka khel hota hai,
Nitis ki jagah luvmail hota hai, Isliye to Pappu har saal fail hota hai…

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..
Magar Mujhe Kaam Tha……
Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta…
Magar Mujhe Zukham Tha !

Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua…

Suraj se achha Tara koi nahi,
Jaisa hai Rishta humaraa dusraa koi nahi!
Chahe saari duniyaa me dhund lo;
Mere jaisa Pyaraa, aur Tere jaisa Aawaraa aur koi nahi!!

Bhagwan ke naam pe 1 patni dede…
Apni nahi toh dusre ki dede…
Bhagwan tujhe 1 kay badle3 dega
Anurag ki tarah Prerna kay saath Aparna aur komolika free dega…

Baithe tere khayalon mein,
Kore kagaz pe likh dala tera naam…
Tasvir bhi utaar dali,Aur likha yeh paigam…
Zinda ya Murda pakdnewale ko 5000/- inaam…

Macchar ne jo kata… dil main mere junoon tha.
Khujli hui itni… dil be sukoon tha.
Pakada to chod diya yeh soch kar ki….
Sale ki ragon main apna hi khoon tha…

Khuda kare tujhe har jagah se satkar mile,
Mujh se bhi acche yaar milen.
Rakhi ko teri girlfriend tujhe rakhi bandhe,
Aur tujhe zindagi bhar us se behan ka pyar mile…

Aapke hi charche har gali mein hain,
Har ladki ke dil mein aapke liye pyar hai.
Ye koi chamtkar nahi,Time hi aisa hai…
kyonki kuch hi dino me RAKHI ka tyohaar hai…

har khushi ko teri taraf moor doo.
Tery liye chand taare tak toor doo.
khushiyo k darwazey tere liye khol doo..
Itna kaafi hai ya do char or jhoot bole doon….

Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad ayi,
Jhom ke barsa sawan teri yaad ayi,
Bhiga main phir bhee teri yaad ayi,
Ab nahin raha jata, CHATRI LAUTA DE BHAI…

Ek ladki thi dewani si.
Mob lekar chalti thi, nazre jhukake,
Mob mein kuch karti thi. Jab bhi milti thi mujhse,
Yehi pucha karti thi… Ye chalu kaise hota hai?

Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka ghumaar dekha hai,
Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai,
Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat,
Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai…

Industrian sari mere yaar khaa gaye,
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar khaa gaye,
Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating,
Banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye…….

1) I’m not the KING bt I have A RICH heart,I’m not the BEST but I try my Best,I may not be right in everything but I’m sure I wasn’t wrong in choosing u as my f
rnd

2) Lovely roses & lovely you and lovely are the things u do..
But the loveliest is the frendship of the two, one is me & the other one is U

3) Luv means 2 c sum1 wid closed eyes,2 miss sum1 in crowd,2 find sum1 in evry thought,2 live 4 sum1 but be sure dat sum1 z only ONE.

4) If “special”means lovings,caring& dear,If”special” means thoughtful too&if”special” means tender,gentle& kind,then special surely means U !

5) A Match $tick glows f(’.')r few $econds, A Candle glow$ for few hour$, The $un glow$ for a day, but, “TRUE FRND$HIP ” will glow forever.!

6)..Leave something 4 a friend,never leave a friend 4 something,coz in life,somethings will leave u,but friends will always live wid u!

7) Sometimes......in life…we tend to run so fast that we don’t notice FRIENDS running with us…we only notice THEM when we fall & THEY stop to pick us up.

2 GOLDEN
Phrases
of friendship:
“don’t
believe the doubted
One”… &
“don’t
doubt the
belived One”…..!
That retains friendship for long…..

9) Life is different than teacher,
A teacher teaches lesson & then keeps the exam.
But the life keeps the exam first & then teaches the lesson.

10) Often we stand at life’s crossroads &
view what we think is the END.
But then only a true frnd tells
RELAX ! Its just a
BEND & not an END…Some Great sms

1) What is the similarity between Bill gates and me? Dont know? So
simple, He never comes to my house and I never go to his
house …EGO PRoblem

****************************************
2) We sms Each Other B’coz U Think Im Nice i Think Ur Nice U Think
Im Cool i Think Ur Cool U Think Im Sweet i Think Ur Sweet U Think Im
Smart i Think Ur RigHT

****************************************

3) Who Said English is Easy

Fill this blank with
Yes or No?

1. __ I don’t have a BRAIN.

2. __I dont have SENSE.

3. __I am STUPID.

****************************************

4) I can’t live without u.Without u I can’t even imagine 2 exist.U r
in my breath,I can’t live without u even for a second.
HOLD ON…HOLD ON…
Itna khush hone ki jarurat nahin hai,I am talking about OXYGEN.

****************************************

5) I was writing 3 Good Lines about u & i wrote:

1. )_______

2. )_______

3. )_______

nalayak kuchh to accha kiya hota life mein, tabhi likhta.

****************************************

6) I want to Share ‘EVRYTHING’ with U. Your JOYS ur SADNESS, ur
HAPPY MOMENTS. Every Single SECOND OF THE DAY. Let’s START with
Your “BANK A/C

****************************************

7) When cloud breaks rain falls, When coconut breaks water falls,
When luv breaks tears fall, But.. When ur HEAD breaks.. Aailaa !!!
Khali hai!

****************************************

U r sweet U r caring U r artist U r kind U r intelligent U r
atractive U r smart thoda aur IMPROVE karo Tabhi mere jaise banoge.

****************************************

9) Aaj ye baat samjh aai,is dharti par Apki hukumat samjh aai,apko
dharti par bhejna khuda ka bahana tha,kyunki ravan k bad kisi ko to
aana tha..

****************************************

10) A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife..

****************************************

11) PanditJi ne apke mobile ki rashi dekh kar bataya hai ki aapke
mobile pe KANJOOSI ki mahadsha mandra rahi hai.Turant 21 Sms ka
yagna karvao

****************************************

12) Shukriya karo oos khuda ka k usne hume banaya hai… kyonki ek
pyaara, achchha, smart,cute & Handsom sa dost humne na sahi tumne to
paya hai

****************************************

13) Ishq ne insaan ko kya se kya bana diyb, kisiko ashiq to kisiko
deewana bana diya, 2 phool ka boj na utha sakti thi mumtaj ,
shahjahan ne pura taj mahal mumt
aj par bana diya.

****************************************

14) There once lived 4friend,Mad,Brain,Sumbody,Nobody.1day,Sumbody
killed Nobody.That time Brain was in toilet Mad call the
police.Mad:Is it police station? Pol
ice:Yes,what is the matter?
Mad:Sumbody killed Nobody
Police:R u mad?
Mad:Yes,Iam Mad
Police:Dont u have brain?
Mad:Brain is in the toilet.

****************************************

15) Main aapko dekhna chahta hoon,aapse milna chahta hoon,par yeh
log bahut zalim hain kehte hain

“ZOO”bandh ho gaya kal aana…

****************************************

16) Sweet persons talk from HUTCH.Lovers talk from AIRTEL . Beggers
talk from BSNL. Beuties talk from SPICE. But BRILLIANTS never talk.
They send SMS

****************************************

17) Asmaan per jitne sitare hain ! Ankhon main jitne ishare
hain ‘Samander ke jitne kinare hain ” UTNE SCREW DHEELE TUMHARE
HAIN ” ha ha ha

****************************************

18) Wife:kal raat tum neend me mujhe gaaliya de rahe the.
Husband:Tumhe galat fehmi hui hai.
Wife:kaisi galat fehmi?
Husband:Yehi ki main soya hua tha.

****************************************

19) SardarDirector:U Should jump 2 d swimingpool frm 100 ft Height.
Act: i don’t know swiming. SardarDirector: dn’t wory, their is no
water.

****************************************

20) Hi jaan_
Kya haal hai jaan_
Kaha ho jaan_
Kab miloge jaan_
Tumhari badi yaad aa rahi hai jaan_
Zyada khush na ho.
Har blank _ mein “war” word add kar lena.

Din gujar gaya hai intejaar mein,
Raat gujar gayi intejaar mein,
Naya saal mubarak ho aapko,
2007 beet gaya aapke SMS k intejaar mein.

Waqt badlta hai Zindagi k saath
Zindagi badlti hai Mohabbat k sath.
Mohabat nahi badalti apno k sath
Bs Apne badal Jate hain Waqk k sath

Mohabbat karo ibadat k sath,
Pyaar karo sachai k sath,
Dosti karo dianat k sath,
SMS padh lia!..
Chalo ab reply karo sharafat k sath!

Bit gaya jo saal,Bhul jaye,
Es Naya Saal ko Gale lagaye,
Karte hai duwa hum Rab se sar jukake,
Es Saal ke Sare Sapne pure ho Aapke

Apne roz humse nai umeed laga rakhi hai,
    apne dil me asha ki KIRAN jaga rakhi hai,
    hum roz kahan se naye msgs bhejen,
    hum ne kya sms ki factory laga rakhi hai.

SON- dad ek glass pani do
DAD- khud lo
SON- plz dona
DAD- agar fir maanga to thappad dunga
SON- jab thappad marne Aao to Paani leke aana

Sweet persons call from AIRTEL
lovers from HUTCH
Kanjus from BSNL
Beauties from IDEA
But Brilliants never talk dey only sms like me

U think of me & I think of u. When we both think of each other, do u know what it means?
.
.
.
It means koi kam dham nahi hai dono ko

Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha

Paas gaya, to bheeg gaya.

Na kisi ka dil mujhe chahiye,
Na kisike ghar ki talash hai,
Mere dil ka haal jo samajh sake,
Mujhe us nazar ki talash hai.

bandaria boli-ma mera dulha kaun hai?
plz meri shadi karwado
ma boli-dekh tera dulha sms padhraha hai
agar padh ke muskuraye to shaadi pakki

Kuch chehre bhulaye nahi jate,
kuch nam dil se mitaye nahi jate,
mulakat ho na ho, lekin mere pyare dost,
dosti ke chirag bujhaye nahi ja

Bhigte rahte hai.Baarish me Aksar..
Kabhi mangi kisi sePanaah nahi..
Hasrate puri na ho.toh na sahi..
Khwab dekhna.koi gunah to nhi

To all my friends who r double: Happy Valentine's Day....! To all my friends who r single, Happy Independance Day.....!

Khushi itni ho ki ap dikha sako,
gum itna ho ki ap chhupa sako,
zindagi me kamse kam 1dost ho,
jiske sath mood off me bhi baat kar sako

Ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
hi
hi
hi
hi
hi
hi
hi
hi
hi
hi
ho
ho
ho
ho
ho
ho
ho
ho
ho
ho
ho
Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aayi

Phool umeedon ke khil hi jayenge,
Hum ek roj mil hi jaayege,Kon rokega sagar ki maujon ko,
Toofan uthenge to kinare hil hi jayege..

Santa: Maine ek aisi chiz ki khoj ki hai jisse tu diwar k aar-par dekh sakta hai
Banta: koun si chiz?

Santa: Khidki

WIFE-kyu ji,jab b me aapke
pas aati hu to aap chasma
pahen lete ho?
HUSBAND-doctor ne kaha hai
jab SHIR-DARD aaye to
chasma pahen lena.

Reliance group k real full form..
RPL (Raha Paisa to Lenge)
RNRL (Rona Nahi fir bhi Ro Lenge)
RIL ( Risk In Life)
REL (Roz Ek Lafda)

SAAS:Bhagwan ne tumhe 2 akkhen di he,
chawal se pathar nahi nikal skti?
BAHU:Bhagwan ne tumhe 32daant diye he
2-4 pathar nahi chaba sakti

Dimag k liye..
Anaar ka juice

Sehat ke liye
mausambi ka juice

Taste ke liye
ganne ka juice
aur

Khush rehne k liye Message karo 'KANJOOS'

Har shaam keh jaati hai ek kahani,
Har subah le aati hai ek kahani,
Raaste to badalte hai har din magar,
Manzil reh jaati hai wahi purani

Wada kar lete hai nibhana bhul jate hai,
Lagakar aag bujhana bhul jate hai,,
Ye to aadat ho gayi unki,
Rulate hai aor manana bhul jate hai

2008 Ka Bhikari :
Amma Thoda Khana Hai To Do Na
Amma : Abhi Nahi Banaya Hai
Bhikari :To Banane Ke Baad Miss Call
De Dena.
Good Day

JO Mujhe abhi msg ni bhejega.

Wo?

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Thodi der bad b bhej skta h.
koi tension nhi ........

Petrol ke rate badhne par
Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda.
Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha,
ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon

2 Sardar Jungle Me Sher Aaya
1Ne Mitti Uthayi Sher Ki
Aankh Me Dalke Bhagte Hue
Chillaya'Abe Bhag'
2nd:Main Kyun Bhagu?
Mitti tune dali!

Teri Surat p Dil Haru,Wah Wah
Teri Jarurat p Jaan Waru, Wah Wah
Jis Din Tera MSG Nahi ata,
Ji Chahta he Teri Kanpati pe 2 Maru

Srdr library me 2,3 ghante 1 book padhne k baad
"So boring,many characters but no story"
Librarian:Oye,this is Telephone Directory

6 u ! u .: o w
p o o 6

6 u ! l ! w S
d 3 3 >l

CONFUSED..s alwaz?

No need 2 c in mirror
Jst read
keeping yr mobile
UP SIDE DOWN

chand taro ka noor aap par barse
har koi aapki chaht ko tarse
aapke itne dost ho k aap ek dusman ko tarshe.

T.T. To Sardar:'Ticket dikhao'.
Sardar:'Haan, Ye lo'
T.T.:'Ye to purani Ticket hai.'
Sardar:'To Train kya abhi showroom se nikali hai...

kam kar

is msg ko delete karde..isme kuchh nahi hai

Arz HAI.SMS dosto ko itne kiye ki
hum jeet gaye sMs ki race.Mobile bhi unka
pareshaan hoke kehne
laga:
NO SPACE
NO SPACE

Ek pyare se sms ki umed laga rakhi hai
Hamne nazre screen par tika rakhi hai
Par ummeed kaise ho poori
Busy logon se dosti jo bana rakhi.

Santa:Do you know English?
Banta:Yes
Santa:Ok!Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sharma g:come fast my wife is trying 2 jump from top floor window.
Verma g:what can i do?
Shrma g:Yaar window nahi khul rahi hai

Deri hi sahi par duri to nahi'
Intjar bhala par judaai to nahi'
Milna bichdna to kismat hai apni'
Aakhir insaan hai hum farishte to nahin..

Santa2doc:Pure jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao 2 bohat dard hota hai
Doctor said full body Xray
when he checked,Xr found fractre in ungli

Agar aapko hamare SMS pasand nahi?Aaj ke baad 1 bhi SMS nahin chahte?
Just send:
LEAVE Sakhare
to:
567678
& SMS aana band

Books says "read me",Money says "earn me"
Time says "plan me",Flowers says "love me",
My sms says "just remember me"Have a nice day
abhi.

Patient-Muje bemari h.
khane k bad bhukh nhi lagti
Sone k bad Nind nhi ati
Kam karu to thak jata hun
Doctor-Sari Rat Dhup me baitho

Exam ANTHEM
Hum honge al pas
honge al pas
honge al 1 din
ho ho
likhte hai bakwas
fir bhi hai vishwas
paper hai jhakas
hum honge al pas 1 din

Mere dost mujse gila krte hai
Hum unse kum mila krte hai
Par wo nadaan itna nhi samjte
k sitare dur se hi roshni diya krte hai

JO SHAKHS JUMA K ROZ MUJH PER 100 MARTABA DARUD BHEJEGA ALLAH AZZAWAJALL USKI 80 SAAL KI KHATA MAAF KAR DEGA(HADEES SHARIF)

Namaskar,ye MALE - FEMALE janch sewa hai !
Agar aap purush hai to 1 SMS kare.Mahila hai to 2 SMS kare
in me se kuch nahi,to kuch na kare.

Hasi hasi me kitno ko hasa diya,Hasi hasime kitne gamo ko chupa liya,haskar gayakoi hum peis kadar,ki umar bhar k liye hame hasna bhula diya

Don't take life too seriously & always find time to laugh warna ....

Log bolege "ghor kalyug hai ,aajkal cartoon bhi nahi haste."
SO KEEP SMILING.

Dekh0 Mosam Kitna Suhana
Hai..?
Thandi hawa Ka Bhi Zamana
Hai...?
EK-DO...?SMS..?
To..? Kardo..?
Kya Balance Sasuraal Le Kar
Jana Hai???

Tawe par pada popcorn kyun uchalta hai?
?
?
?
?
kuch to bolo?
?
?
?
Ans-Tawe pe beth ke dekho pata chal jayega

Hamare SMS se log samajhte hai k hame aadat hai paise udane ki!

Lekin wo nadan kya samjhe?

Ye bhi ek ada Hai kanjooson ko sharam dilane ki.

Waiter gives bill to Santa
Santa:Take this card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration card
Sardar: So what? You hv writen
ALL CARD ACCEPTED

AUTOWALA:
Saab! 30 rupe hue.Sardar:le 15 rupe
AUTOWALA:Saab ye to beimani hai.
Sardar:abe beimani kaisi?tu bhi to baith ke aaya hai.

Air hostes 2 Lalu-sir,r u vegitarean or non-vegtarian? Lalu-I m Indian.She-no sir r u shakari or masahari? Lalu-Hat sasuri,I am BIHAR......!

Teacher to sardar : which book has helped you most in your life ?

Sardar : my father's cheque book

30+29+28+27+26+25+24+23+2 2+21+20+19+18+1
7+16+15+14+13+12+11+10+9=In sabh ko total
kark dekho apka nam likha ayega.lt's TruePleaseTry

Police: Tumhe kal
subah 5 baje
phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: HA HA HA!
Police: Kyo hass rahe ho?
Sardar: Mein to subah 8 baje utthta hoon!

Good Time
Bad Time
Day Time
Work Time
Off Time
Night Time
Happy Time
Sad Time
Sleep Time
KISI BHI Time

APUN ka SMS aa sakta he.

Sardarji :"yar,ek dostko plastic surgry k liye 2 lakh diye the, ab saleko pehchan nahi pa raha hu."(

You Are:
70% Beauty.
75% Sweet..
85% Naughty..
90% Good ..
100% Lovely..
70+75+85+90+100 =
Oh My God!!

You Are
420 !!

SANTA orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
SANTA: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahin jayenge

Santa,Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle.Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted:Oye pagal,pehle hi 3 bethe hai tu kahan baithega

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH",
Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",

Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",
AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"

WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya ha

Sardarni - Oji, car ki speed itni kyu badha di..??

Sardar- Oji, car ki break fail ho gai hai..Accident ho jaye isse pehle Ghar Pahuch Jae.Yahoo...!!!
.
Exams ki saari taiyaari ho gayi
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pen
pencil
scale
eraser

sab taiyar hai

AB BUS..
padhna baki hai

santa- "i m going" ka kya matlab hota hai?
banta(khub soch ke)- "me ja raha hu."
Santa(gusse me)-"oye!nahi jaane doonga.pehle matlab bata

Master: Kya tumhe pata hai,tumhari umar me GANDHI ji B.A kar chuke the.

Student:sir, Apki umar me to Bhagat singh faasi chhad chuke the..

Arz hain.. Hum bhi apke liye Tajmahal banayenge..
Gaur Kijiye,
Hum bhi apke liye Tajmahal banayenge
1 cup khud aur 1 cup aapko pilayenge.

Raat ho chuki hai...
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

?
?

??
??
???
???
Keypad dabane se subah nahi hogi.
Chup chap so jao.
GUD NIGH

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa:Suicide karne k liye
Banta:To phir ubalne ki kya zarurat hai?
Santa:Kahin infection na hojaye

Jo Tum Ko Dil Se Pyar Kare

Tum Pe Jaan Nisar Kare

Tumhara Sada Intizar Kare

Tumhari 1 Ada Pe Qatal Hazaar Kare

Wo Koi
Pagal
hi hoga:-

Advocate:Talak karvane ke
5000 lagenge.Sardar:pagal ho
panditji ne 51 mein shadi
karvai thi. Advocate:Dekha
saste ka natija.

Weakly 1 day holiday
Monthly 1 day salary day
Yearly 1 day birthday
Lifely 1 day death day
Byt sharing ur frndship & missing u is evrydy

Ishq mohabat to hazaro karte hai Game judai se wo darte hai hum to na ishq karte hai na mohabat bas dosto ki 1 muskan k liye SMS karte hai

bhulne wale hume bhul jaate hai
dil se unke hum nikal jaate hai
jab tak hoti nahi zarurat humari logo ko
hum kaha kisi ko yaad aate hai

2 sardar watching match when dhoni hits a bndary.
1st- dekho dekho goal hua
2nd-abe tu sardar hi rhega,goal isme nhi cricket mein hota hai

Hm agar mil nahi pate
Aisa nahi k ap yad nahi aate
Mana jahan k sab rishte nibhaye nahi jate
Pr jo ban gaye he DOST wo bhulaye nahi jate

A sardar invested 2Lacs in a Biz but dint make profit!
Do you know why?

Well he opened a saloon in Punjab !!

Papers ki roti,
Notes ka achar,
Bulb ki kirne,
Ques ki bahar,
Tension ki chandni,
Vacation ka intezar,
Mubarak ho apko exam ka ye tyohar

Sachi hai meri dosti azmake dekhlo,
Karke yaki mujpe mere paas aake dekhlo.
Badalta nahi kabhi sona apna rang,
jitni baar dil kare aag laga kar dekhlo

Teacher to Santa,
"What is the full form of MATHS?"
Santa thinks hard and says "mentally affected teachers harming students

Ye SMS Jaldi Jaldi JOR SE Padho...

HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW
HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW
padh ne ko kaha tha BHOKNE KO nahi.

SMS ka lenden to chalta rahega
dosti ka silsila badhata rahega
aap delete karate rahoge
per aapka mobile mere sms se bharat rahega

Manzil milnese Dosti bhulai nai jati
Hamsafar milnese Dosti mitai nai jati
Dostki kami har pal rehti hai
Durio se Dosti chupai nai jati.

Arz he

ARZ HE

arz he

arz he
ARZ HE
APKO SATANA HAMARA FARz he

SPIDER MAN is jumping.SUPER MAN is flying.HE-MAN is diving.HIT MAN is fighting.GENTLE-MAN is sending this SMS DOBER MAN is reading this SMS.

Sardar:Shirt K Liye Badhiya
Kapda Dikhana.
SalesMan-PLAIN Me Dikhaun?
Sardar-Hawai Jahaaz Tak Jane Ki Kya Jarurat Hai Yahi Dikhana

kanjus k ghar ko aag lag gai,

woh ghar ko bacha nahi saka,

guess kyon?

bcos wo sari raat firebrigade
walo ko misscall marta raha.

Teacher:ek saal me kitni raate hoti hai?
Sardar:10 raate hoti hai ji !!
Teacher:10 raate, kaise?
Sardar: 9 navaraatri aur
1 shivraatri

Sms jake usko hello kahena
Smile kare to so sweet kahena
Delet kahe to sorry kahena
Padhake agar miss kare to same 2 u dear kahena

Aap hamari gali mein aaye,
thora sharmaye thora ghabraye,thora muskaraye phir zor s chillaye,

AALU CHHOLAY MASALAY WALAY!!!

DUNIA me reh ke sapno me kho jao
KISIKO apna banalo YA kisi ke ho jao

AGAR kuch bhi nahi hota to DONT WORRY
Take Chadar takiya aur so jao

111/(1+1+1)=37
222/(2+2+2)=37
333/(3+3+3)=37
444/(4+4+4)=37
555/(5 +5+5)=37
666/(6+6+6)=37
777/(7+7+7)=37
888/8+8+8=37
999/9+9+9=37

Dil se hum dillagi kiya nahi karte,yeh dil kisi ko diya nahi karte.dil ko apka mobile no pasand aa gaya,warna hum kisi ko itne sms nhi karte

Niche jao,apke liye 'DOSTI' ka gift hai
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
danda hai, sir pe padega na..tab akal thikane aegi,dosti me b gift chaiye, lalchi?

Ye PADAI hai bidu
36 mile to TALI bidu
supli lage to GALI bidu
Hua Pas to JHAKAS
Drop to SATYANASH
Top kare to THAAT
Fail to VAAT bidu

SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega,balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar,mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi
SWAMI MSGAANAND

Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing .
It was discovered in 1773.
Santa:Thank God I was born after that.
Pehla Paida hota to marhi jata!!

DUR Se Dekha to 'SHER' tha...

DUR Se Dekha to 'SHER' tha...
.
.
...

Toh Pass jane ka to sawal hi nahi hota!!

Chehre ki hasi se hr gam ko mitado
Bahut km bolo par sab kuch bata do
Khud na rutho par sabko manao
YeRAAZ hai zindgi ka bas jee k dikhao

Ishq ke sahare jiya nahi karte
Gum ke pyalo ko piya nahi karte
Kuchh Nawab dost hain hamare
jinko Pareshan na karo to wo yaad hi kiya nahi karte.

Hum bhi Smart,
Aap bhi Smart,
Hum bhi good looking,
Aap bhi good looking,
Bus 1 chota sa fark hai,
Hum dil se saaf,
Aap DIMAG SE SAAF

:
2Day Is D BirthDay Of Tom N JeRRY

In Their Memory Plz Send This sMs 2 Atleast Local CaRTooN

I Have Done My Job!

Circuit:Bhai ye doctor log operation se pehle mariz ko behos kyon karte hai?
Munna bhai:Bolo to patient operation krna sikh na jaye,isiliye

Purana Loha, pasti, bhangar
becho

Tute fute saman becho
Plastic ke dibbe becho

akhbar becho

Un paiso se
Balance dalva k
msg to BHEJO

Aaj Maine 1 Jaan Bachai Pucho Kaise? BHIKARI Ko pucha,1000 Ka NOTE Du To Kya Karega? Bola- Khushi se Mar Jaunga.Maine Nahi Diya

SARDAR:Saala, Kal raat English picture ki CD dekhi,usme Na kuch scenes dikhe na koi awaz suni, Frnd:Movie ka nam kya tha?
SARDAR:No Disc..

Aap apni zindagi me itna aage jao...
Ki aap jahan bhi jao log aapse bas yahi kahein...
jao baba Aage jao......

INBOX KI gwahi
or Byano ko
madde nzar
rakhte hue IPC k
taht Msg padh
rhe mujrim ko Msg
na bejne k jurm
Me KANJUS Krar diya jat

Do sardar ped pe baithkar gaa rahe the,Achanak ek ulta latak k gane laga,Dusre ne pucha ulta Q latka hai?SARDAR-"OYE side B gaa raha HOON"

Mat Mila Naye Dosto Se A Khuda

A Hume Barbad Krte He

Hum To sMs Ki Bauchar Krte He

Or A Chawani K Liye Bhi Vichar Krte He

Zindgi ka har ek shok pala nahi jata,Sheeshe ke khilono ko ucchala nahi jata,Mehnat se nikal jati he rahein,Har kaam taqdir par tola nahi jata..

Zindagi Jeene ke bahane bahut hain...

wah.. wah.. wah..

Kis kis ko SMS karun kambhakt

Is Nacheez ke Deewane bahut hain...!!

sMs Krne K 4 Fayde..
1>Mobile Ko Jank Nhi Lagega
2>Aap Jise Bhejege Wo Khush Rahega
3>Contect Bana Rahega
4>Aapko Koi KaNJuS Nahi Kahega

;****;
o( @..@ )o
"(---)"
Paichaan kaun?
Bandar bhi nahi,Monkey bhi nahi.yeh tere bachpan ka photo hain solid na!

SARDAR-ABE PUTER TERE RESULT DA KI HOYA
PUTER-PAPA IS CLASS WICH 1 SAL OR LAGEGA
SRDR-koi bat nahi puteR 2 saal lage ya 3 FAIL MAT HONA

Munna> Agar Maa Ko MoM Kahe To Uski Choti Or Badi Bahen Ko Kya Bole?
Circuit> Simple He Bhai, Boleto..
Minimam & Maximam!

Zara socho yadi SMS
receive karne ke paise
lagte to kya hota?
.

Kuchh log MERE
MURDER KA PLAN bana
chuke hote...shayad tum bhi

:HathodaOfTheDay:
Policeman 2 his son- Tumahara result achha nahi aaya. Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band.
Son- Acha ye 50 rupee pakdo aur mamla yahi nipta do..

Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?"
Banta: "B.A."
Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"

Go Down 2 C My Heart

Dekha !
Kitna Saf He
Mera Dil
Bole To Akdum
Aapke DiMaG Ki Tarah.

Police:Tumhara dost kaise mara?Arif:MeNahi janta,Wo bola mere petme chuhe daud rahehe
kuch khaye,Mene use sirf chuhe marne ki dawa khilayi

Kashti Toofan
Se Nikal Sakti
Hai, Shama Bujh
K Bhi Jal Sakti
Hai,
Mayus Hoke
Irade Na Badlo
Kismat Kisi Bhi
Waqt Badal
Sakti Hai

How will u differentiate between a Murga and Murgi????

Ek patthar maro...

agar bhaga to murga aur

Agar bhaghi to murgi!

SO SIMPLE..

Puri botal na sahi ek jam
to ho jaye
milna na sahi dua salam
to ho jaye
jinki yad me hum bimar
pade hai
kam se kam unhe jukam
toho jaye.

Angrez:Gandhi k dono kan kat do,
Gandhi:Nhi..Me Andha ho jaunga.
Angrz:Bewkuf kan katne se andha kse hoga?
Gndhi:
fir Me Chasme kese pehnuga

Santa ne sardar se train se utarte hi pucha
BhaiSaab ye KonSa station hai
sardar bahot der tak sochta raha

aur bola
railway station

Kanjoosi k liye OSCAR ka nominat aayega,
APKA naam ADAB se liya jayega,
kabi b SMS ya CALL mat karna,
warna AWARD hath se nikal jayega

A donky kickd sardar & ran away Sardar ran to catch the donkey.He saw a zebra&started beating it&said 'SALA Tracksuit pahanke dhoka deta hai

Santa Singh Ji Zebra Crossing ke Black & White Patte par Bar Bar idhar se Udhar chalte the , Woh kya soch rahe honge ? THINK ? SALA YEH PIYANO BAJTA KYO NAHI ?

Banta: tell me five FERROUCIOUS animals that you can think of...... Santa: 3 lions and 2 tigers.

Sardar:Dr saab 2 saal pehle mujhe bukhar hua tha. Dr:to ab kya hua.Sardar:hua to kuch nahi aapne nahane ko mana kiya tha AB NAHA LU KYA..?

Sindhi: Bhagwan tu mujhe 100 Rs dega toh 50 Rs tumhe chadhaunga. Thodi door par usko 50 Rs milte hai. Sindhi: Prabhu itna bhi bharosa nahi, PEHLE HI KAAT LIYA

Karoge fir yaad guzre zamane ko, Tarsoge hamare saath ek pal bitane ko, Phir aawaaz doge hume aane ko, Hum kahenge darwaaza nahi hai kabar se bahar aane ko!

Ye-mere dost, mere marne k baad sirf aansu he bahana, jayada meri yaad aaye to merye peeche na chalye aana, yahin bahut dukhi kar liya hai, wahan aa k mat pakana!!

Titanic K Sath Santa B Dub Raha Tha Or Hass Bhi Raha Tha
Banta: Oye Kyu Hass Raha He
Santa: Shukr He MeiNe ReTuRN TiCKeT Nahi Kharida...

SANTA : kyu bhai...kahan jaa raha hai???

BANTA : main kaarkhane ja raha hoon..

SANTA : abe yaar, itni badi CAR kaise khayega tu???

Fill in d blanks with "YES" or "NO"

1)___Mai insaan nahi hu.

2)___mai hi bewakuf hu

3)___mera koi ilaj nahi

4)___mai pagal hu

Bhikari ne phone kiya.
HeloTaj hotel.
Taj:yes.
1biryani,
1pizza
bhej do.
Taj:kiske nam pe bhej du sir.
Allah ke nam pe bhej do

Achcha bhala
('.') Dost tha,
'<)|(>'
_/''_

Maine

<')|('> Gardan
_/'"_ Uda di

SMS nahi krta tha

Tu to samajhdar hai

Muskurana hi to khushi nai hoti
umar bitana hi to zindagi nai hoti
dost ko roz yaad karna padta hai
Kyonki dost kehna hi dosti nai hoti

Try this Game!
Very Interesting

Take ur Mobile
select vibrate mode
& put in water
& call from landline
Ur mobile will start swimming..

no sms or call..

No Balance...

Lo card number load kar lo...

||||||||||||||||||||||

Scratch khud karo, I am busy!

aj ki taza khabar 10 ko bevakoof banaya.
plz press down 4 details.

Ab ki taza khabar 11 ko bewkoof banaya...

Sardar to Pandit : ye aapke sir pe choti kyu ?
Pandit : Ye mera Antenna hai.
Isase mujhe vichaar aate hai.
Sardar : Kamaal hai, mere sir pe Dish Antenna hai, mujhe to nahi aate.

Sardar:Dr help me, mein jab baat karta hu
to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr:Aaisa kab hota hai?
S:Phone karte waqt.

Techer:Kya Ap
Bata Sakte Hai Srdaro
Pe Kitne Joke Hai?
Sardar:Bahut Der
Sochne K Bad Muskil Se
2 Ya 3 Baki Sab
Sachhi Kahania Hai.

Ek sardar jungle se jaa raha tha.
Ek chudel- tum mujhe jante ho.
sardar- tumhari ek behan mere ghar par hai

Aap ka gadha aap se rooth gaya..

Ja ke nadi main kood
gaya..

Doobte hue bola ab aur dukh nahi

sahenge..

1 ghar main do do nhi rahnge!!

Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Main hu yahan, tu hai wahan
Lifeboy hai jahan, tandurusti hai wahan...
wah! wah! wah!

2Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car
Sardar 1:What would u do if the bomb explodes while fixing
Sardar 2:Dont worry,I hav 1 more

Kanto ka dard ful ki dali samje
fulo ka dard bag ka mali samje
ye kaisi rit banai hai kudrat ne
diye ke dil jale or log diwali samje

Sham ki tanhai me kho na jana,
kisi ki masti me doob na jana,
Milengi zarur kal manzil tumhe,
Unhe paa kar is naaacheez ko bhool na jaana

Santa:Ek kilo Gaaye ka Dhoodh dena,
Banta:Lekin tumhara bartan to bhut chhota hai,
Santa:Thek he to fir Bakri ka de do

How to keep a sardar busy all day?

Ans:Put him in a Round room and tell him to sit in the Corner..:-):-)

Dost ne haal batana chhod diya
Humne bhi gehrai me jana chhod diya
Jab HOLI ko itne din baki hai
To aapne abhi se nahana kyu chhod diya

Aise janvar ka naam batao jo bilkul kutte jaisa dikhta hai lekin sirf 3 pero par chalta hai?
.
.
Socho
.
.
.
.
.
jawab-langada kutta.

Tere Ko ek
Dikhawoo....

"1"
Ok, Dekha
Kal do Dikhawoga!

Bhikhari:50paise de,maine
3din se kuch nahi khaya

Marwadi: 10 rupaye dunga,
pahele ye bata 50 paise me
khana kahan milta hai..??????

Bazu-o-mein dum rakhta hun,
Dil mein gum rakhta hun,
Pata tha SMS ayega tera,
Isliye DISPRIN sang rakhta hun

Har 1se achiBaat karna Fitrat he hamari
Har 1kush raheYe Hasrat he hamari
KoiHume YAAD kareYa naKare
Har1ko Yaad karna AADAT he hamari:

Ek"SARDAR"Pani pi Raha Tha..
.
.
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.
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.

Ab"SRDR"Pani Bhi Nahi pi Sakta!!
Isme Bhi Joke Chahiye??

Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : You said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON, it says All IndiaRadio

Teacher: I killed a person
convert this sentence into future tense.

Sardar:The future tense is u will go to jail

light can replace dark,success can rplce failure,smile can rplce pain,
but
nthing can replace u,
because
"DEFECTIVE PIECE=
NO REPLACEMENTS

Jahaan ki gurbat me sukun nahi aaega

Gam-e-tohin se kubul nahi paega

Maqlul ki fitrat hai ye kaafir

Dimaag fat jaega par ye sher samaj nahi aaega

Sardar ko ek blank msg
aaya,Phir sardar ne usi
no. par call kar k bola
"kya tumhe malum he k
tumhare phone ki INK
khatam ho gayi ha

Dekh
tere
sansar
ki
halat
kya
ho
gayi
bhagwan,
kitne
badal
gaye
insan,
na
k oi
sms,
na
koi
miss
call,
hum
bhi
hai
hairan....
kaise
busy
hue
shaitan.

Anjane me bhi kabhi sacche dost mil jate he,patzhad me bhi phul khil jate he,kuch lasho ko kafan bhi nasib nahi hote, par kuch pe TAJMAHAL ban jate he..

DUNIYA GOL HAI:

Chuha Billi se darta he,
Billi Kutte se darti he,
Kutta Admi se darta he,
Admi Biwi se darta he,
Biwi Chuhe se dartI hai...

Kabhi bandar ko polythin me band dekha hai?
Think

Think.

Think

Are kabhi apna i card nahi dekha?

A trick for mobile
Try Dis

1)Go 2 Write Msgs

2)Put on t9 Dictionary

3)Cover D Screen Wid Hand

4)Press
37436304164771968
Gently Remove Ur Hand

&See.

Apni sanso ko rok lijiye,

Dil ki dhadkano ko tham lijiye,

DIL ki gaherai se mera nam lijiye,

BAS ab normal ho jaiye or apna kaam firse suru kijiye...

D0STI KA SAFAR LAMBA HUA...T0 KYA HUA.
TH0DA TUM CHALNA

TH0DA HUM CHALENGE

FIR

FIR T0 KYA

auto RIKSHA KARLENGE

Kaun
si
devi
ka
kaun
sa
prasad
india
me
famus
hai

socho

socho
tanik dimag lagao
nhi pta

Rabri devi
ka
lalu prasad....

Jeevan ke kathin raasto pe kaun apna saath nibhata hai?
Mummy/papa?
Nahin!
Husband/wife?
Nahin!
Frnds?
Nahin!

To phir?

are Chapal yar!

Sine me dil
Dil me dard
Dard me yaqin
Yaqin me khayal
Khayal me khwab
Khwab me tasvir
Tasvir me aap
Itna Daravna khwab!
Baap re Baap

I'm a MONKEY.
I'm a MONKEY.
I'm a MONKEY.
I'm a MONKEY.
I'm a MONKEY.

Shshhh. .Zor se math bol,yahaan tak sunai de raha hai...

NASA ne 3sardar chand pe bheje.
magar adhe raste se vapas!
Jab sardaro ko pucha gaya,toh kaha:
"AAJ AMAWAS HAi,CHAAND TO HOGA Hi NAHi"

Ek din jab hum duniya se chale jayege,mat sochana apko bhul jayege,bas ek bar asman
ki taraf dekhna,mere sms sitaro par nazar aayege

Ek Kabristan me 1 Bhayanak Bhoot Ko Dekhkar Sab Bhaag Rahe The Par Mei Nahi Bhaaga..
Pata Hai
kyon???
? Maine
aapko
Pehchaan
liya tha dost..

Stars has 5 ends
Square has 4 ends
Trinagle has 3ends
Line has 2 ends
but Circle of our friendshiphas no end...

Hr Ek Shakhs Se Me Muskura Ke Milta Hon,
Tamam Ranjishen Dil Se Bula Ke Milta Hon,
Mere Dukhon Se Koi Udas Na Hojae,
Me Apne Chehre Pr Khushiyan Saja Ke Milta Hon.

Ek sardar BLOOD K bare mein book padh raha tha
Wife ne pucha ye kyu padh rahe ho
Sardar
Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai kal mera blood test hai.

1 sradar

sochta raha

saari zindagi sochta raha

& sochte sochte hi mar gaya

ki meri behan k 3 bhai
hain to mre do Q

Dua karte hain sar zukaye
Dost apni har manzil ko payeAgar teri raho main kahi andhera aye
to khuda roshani ke liye hame jalaye

College life is like
ReLiaNCE>> karlo dunia mutthime.
Bachler life is like AIRTeL>> asi azadi ar kahan,
Aftr enggmnt life likeIDEA>> Jo apki duniya badlke rakhde.
After marriage like
HUTCH>> whrevr u go network follws,
After kids life is as
BSNL>> all lines r busy plz try after somtime..

Hum wo "chor" he jo,gamo se "AANSU",chehre se "PARESHANI",dil se "MAYUSI",zindagi se har "DUKH", aur hatho ki lakiro se MAUT Chura Lete Hai

Kuchh na kisi se bolenge,Bas tanhai mein CHHUP-CHHUP RO lenge,Aab neend to aankho mein aati nhi,chalo jab MAUT ayegi tab jee bhar k soLenge.

ek jadu
Try

1glass thanda pani lo aur use

apne baju baithe SHAKHS

par dal do

Ye thanda pani use GARAM

kar dega
tryITS WORKS

Good Time
Bad Time
Day Time
Work Time
Off Time
Night Time
Happy Time
Sad Time
Sleep Time
KISI BHI Time
APUN ka SMS aa sakta ha.

Ye dil apko bhula nahi sakta,
aisa kyu hai bata nahi sakta,
muskil to ye hai apko yakeen nahi
aur dil cheer ke mai dikha nahi sakta

srdr-yaar relince k har
phone k piche 3G CDMA
kyu likha hota he?
2 srdr-Oye itna b nahi
malum 3 Gujrati Chor
Dhiru Mukesh anil!!

( o_o)